The Appalachian Radio Tape
Today’s date, October 30, 1985. I’m a doctor, Jonathan Crane, and I’m interviewing Mrrr..
“Arthur C-C-C-Cortez”
Ah, yes, Mr Cortez
Today, I would like you to describe your experience in the Appalachian…
“STOP, do n’t-s-s say its name!”
Uhhh, ok, can we continue?
“F-F-F Fine.”
Ok, so Mr Cortez, go ahead.
“It was like every other trip, ssssimple, I wanted to rock climb and spend the night out there.”
Not the brightest Idea, considering the amount of rain and snow we have had this past week.
“I-I-I-I know, but I love climbing and camping in the Appa.. In the wilderness, and I never expected what would happen next.” “I had just finished my climb, and I.I.I.I saw this. s.s.s light on top of Brown Mountain, I thought the evaluation was getting to me, so I took a photo, and I saw it. THE LIGHT WAS THERE, IT WAS THERE!!
Sir, please calm down! Or else I will have to call security.
IT WAS THERE, THOSE LIGHTS. It should have been dark; it was right after sunset, right top of Brown Hill, I s-s-swear.
Sir, calm down! Security!
“Fine, I’ll stop.”
Thank you. So, Mr Cortez, continue.
“I thought that was it, so I shrugged it off, but only got worse, and I made the biggest mistake of the night. M-M-My tent couldn’t keep me warm, so I walked looking for some place warm to stay, and I saw a log cabin in what looked l-l-like perfect condition, and I walked in, lit a fire, and as I settled down, I-I-I-I heard a scratching sound and I thought-t-t-t was just a branch or an anima,l so I thought no-o-o-othing of it till it got louder like it was telling me to leave and I brush-h-h-hed it off but as I pulled up my sheets or more liked ripped em off then EVERYTHING… I mean, everything-g-g-g got worse things moved across the ground, and the house started to shake like it wanted me out, then I realized that this was the house of The Bell Witch!”
The Bell Witch? That’s a myth from the 1800s.
“I t-t-t-thought so too! So I made a run for it, but I was lost, and I heard animals or what sounded like animals in the distance. Then-n-n-n, I look up and see something kinda like a bird, but after some running, I find my car, and I drive off as fast as I can, but as I was driving that bir-r-r-d from early is trailing me, I looked like a giant moth and a man!”
So you mean to tell me you had an encounter with Moth Man?
“YES, THAT’S HIS NAME!”
Ok, Ok, si,r we need you to go back to our cell.
“NO NO I’m not done, there was something else, it wasn’t human, it was huge, and I could change shape, I swear to look like animals IT WAS A SKIN WALKER. I SWEAR.”
Take him away, guards.
“NO, IT’S REAL, I’M NOT CRAZY!”
End tape interview with Patient 267 Arthur Cortez.
(Tape ends)
Wow, that was wild. He really thinks that Appalachians are haunted, ha-ha-ha. And what’s with the stutter every other sentence was a-a-a-a a stutter ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
(Thump!)
That’s weird. But fear is an illusion. Well, time to go home
(Door opens)
(car starts)
DO YOU HAVE NO FEAR?
Huh.
WHAT DO YOU FEAR, CRANE?
WHO’S THERE I’M NOT AFRAID OF YOU
WRONG CHOICE
WHAT ARE YOU NO LEAVE ME ALONE YOU’RE NOT HUMAN NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
The End